Arts Capital of My Arse

The next time you hear about how Sarasota is the art capital of Florida, or the south, or the entire world, all of which one hears (but only in Sarasota), consider this:

 31 ONLINE PREDATORS.

 Count 'em, 31 sexual predators caught seeking to seduce, solicit, or entice a child to commit sex acts.

Thirty-one -- in just 6 days of one Sheriff operation.

 Here's the Wall of Shame.

 Not that they look like they are capable of much shame. Sarasota wants your business, wants you to move here, wants you to think it's just the best thing since sliced child.

 Of course Sarasota can't have all the glory. It shares some of this lice with other bungholes -- Cape Coral, Fort Myers, Port Charlotte, Bradenton, and even California. Long may they fester.

New Wave of Rick Perry Supporters Reach Florida

Today we feel the need to reassert the primacy of the PenileState. Let it never be said that Penn State's drunken football frenzy could ever come near the lunacy we see around us every day in this fair state. Or Rick Perry's Texans could come in here without getting some flak. This is all Penile all the time!

Without further ado:


'Fake doctor boosted woman's bottom with home-made implant containing cement and super glue' (and this is a picture of HIM)

Man throws potatoes at woman in Walmart

Welcome to Taxpayer Funded Lifestyle, Blackie

Conrad Black traveled from his lavish Palm Beach mansion Monday to a Florida prison, where he will serve out his six-and-a-half year fraud sentence with white-collar criminals and drug dealers. CTV

Florida wins best site

Penile State Media is all gaa over the dubious distinction of having the state receive the "Best" ranking by a web site that reviews various sites.

Florida achieved "best" for its sex offender site.

As we congratulate the Florida Dept. of Law Enforcement on its triumph, we regret that the occasion to need this sort of law surveillance is so great.

There are some glaring flaws on the site, in any case. It offers no overview, telling how many thousands of offenders fill its database. There's no demographic breakdown, no effort to offer a portrait of the offender population.

Another one: When you do reach a page that lists the offenders within a certain radius of a street address, there's no way to mail the page, or even the page address, to someone else. Clearly the end user, the person concerned about safety in their environment, was not given the consideration a user friendly site normally would.

So, Penilers, congrats on bringing home the Gold.

The Pleasures of Polk County

Polk Authorities Finding More Marijuana Grow Houses

By Billy Townsend of The Tampa Tribune

Published: November 19, 2007

LAKELAND - The numbers are striking.

Deputies and police in Polk County say they have raided and dismantled 34 marijuana "grow houses" in the county through the first 10 months of 2007.

In all of 2006, that number was three.

Fab Florida Reading for your Christmas List!

Nobodies: Modern American Slave Labor and the Dark Side of the New Global Economy

Florida Feature: Read about how some of the largest agri-bizzes in the Penile State -- Tropicana, Lykes Bros., e.g. -- profited off the backs of slave laborers in Immokalee and Lake Placid.




The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism

Florida Feature: See how Florida became the laboratory for disaster capitalism after the hurricanes that FEMA failed to do much of anything about. Read about how some Penile geniuses saw an opportunity for Rapture Escapist Riches and formed Emergency Concierge Helpjet -- when disaster strikes, they'll evacuate you in style -- and give you the VIP treatment in the Shangri-La of your choosing.

Tampa affirms value, celebrates something