Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Penile's Own Rick Perry Clone


This state has two royal families - this asshat and Jeb Booge.

The only question: When will Jeb jump in?

Saturday, November 19, 2011

To all our RepubliGun Fiends

New Wave of Rick Perry Supporters Reach Florida

Today we feel the need to reassert the primacy of the PenileState. Let it never be said that Penn State's drunken football frenzy could ever come near the lunacy we see around us every day in this fair state. Or Rick Perry's Texans could come in here without getting some flak. This is all Penile all the time!

Without further ado:

'Fake doctor boosted woman's bottom with home-made implant containing cement and super glue' (and this is a picture of HIM)

Man throws potatoes at woman in Walmart

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Sound Bites of the Passionate RepubliGuns

"What's good is to get these goats for our computer industry."

"Ding-dong lama wannee, Jumpin' with an ice pick"

"It's a big rat with little ears and warts."

Friday, October 28, 2011

"The Adolf Hitler of Shallow"

Watching Perry addressing the crowd, several questions naturally came to mind. One was, "Does he really believe this stuff?" But another one was, "Would it matter if he did?" After all, there are times in life when insanity is indistinguishable from cynicism. A man who will take money to greenlight a dangerous nuclear-waste dump that might blow up 30 years from now is not much different from the guy who doesn't balance his checkbook because he thinks Armageddon is coming before the end of the quarter. In both cases, the long view doesn't matter. Taibbi.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Intelligence and Motive

Ever wondered why we in the US have not enacted a general strike in recent times?

It was necessary to lay everybody off before that motivation, and the intelligence of it, came home.

Tutelage for Baggers

Congrats Penilers!

You're in the top 10 states of the US of Fucking A!

You are not just fat, you are obese!

Thank the media - instead of feeding your heart and mind, it fed your face and your arse!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

You Go Penilers! Work on those Gun Laws!

Florida second in nation in mass layoffs in August

By | 09.22.11 | 12:35 pm

Florida had the second highest number of mass layoff actions in the nation during the month of August, according to a U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics summary released today.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics explains that “each mass layoff involved at least 50 workers from a single employer.” Florida, with 78 mass layoffs (not seasonally adjusted), came in second. California was first with 251, and New York third with 71. The good news is that the number of mass layoffs in Florida during August dropped well below June and July levels.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Reptilian John Thomas

Florida has nothing better to do than this:

Pandering to the Gun Lobby

How low can the Florida Legislature go in pandering to the gun lobby?

Related in News

Citizens might have thought the answer came earlier this year when doctors were banned from inquiring about guns in the household as a factor in their patients’ welfare. A federal judge has blocked that, finding that a doctor’s free speech hardly violates the Second Amendment. Now local officials must deal with another gun lobby outrage. They are scrambling to meet an Oct. 1 deadline by which they must scrap all local gun control laws.

Florida Forces Towns to Pull Local Laws Limiting Guns

Palm Beach County does away with firearms rules

Florida's high unemployment rate among worst

. . . Wait a second - that's actually a real issue...

There can only be one explanation:

My Word: Non-native reptiles deserve a place

David Icke can be completely full of shit about the rest of the world, but his reptilian visions are dead on when it comes to the

Penile State.

Thursday, September 15, 2011


If there ever were a constituency that ought to have some say in how Florida operates, you'd think it would be the aging and aging rapidly, along with the already aged and the near dead.

But check this out

#44 in long term care in the nation, Florida is.

Truly wonderful how states manage to fuck the very people they are supposed to serve.

You go, Rick Scott! You go, Tallahassee! You go, state Reps!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

How do Republicans get to be Republicans?

Greed, stupidity, and sucking up to social strongfolks, according to this piece by Mike Lofgren, a former Republican staffer.

To those millions of Americans who have finally begun paying attention to politics and watched with exasperation the tragicomedy of the debt ceiling extension, it may have come as a shock that the Republican Party is so full of lunatics.


A couple of years ago, a Republican committee staff director told me candidly (and proudly) what the method was to all this obstruction and disruption. Should Republicans succeed in obstructing the Senate from doing its job, it would further lower Congress's generic favorability rating among the American people. By sabotaging the reputation of an institution of government, the party that is programmatically against government would come out the relative winner.


It is the apocalyptic frame of reference of fundamentalists, their belief in an imminent Armageddon, that psychologically conditions them to steer this country into conflict, not only on foreign fields (some evangelicals thought Saddam was the Antichrist and therefore a suitable target for cruise missiles), but also in the realm of domestic political controversy.


It should have been evident to clear-eyed observers that the Republican Party is becoming less and less like a traditional political party in a representative democracy and becoming more like an apocalyptic cult, or one of the intensely ideological authoritarian parties of 20th century Europe. This trend has several implications, none of them pleasant.


If you think Paul Ryan and his Ayn Rand-worshipping colleagues aren't after your Social Security and Medicare, I am here to disabuse you of your naiveté.[5] They will move heaven and earth to force through tax cuts that will so starve the government of revenue that they will be "forced" to make "hard choices" - and that doesn't mean repealing those very same tax cuts, it means cutting the benefits for which you worked.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

UnCut FuckButts

Pure RipOff:


Preying upon elderly with senile pitch (buy $8 for only $48!)

Compleat and utter nonsense from Ohio - almost as dumb as Baggers.

BBB calls UnFucked2$Bullshit.com "misleading"! Bold and Vigilant!

Uncut two dollah
Uncut two dollar
Uncut 2 dollar

What an Uncut great nancyboy site!



Man I know, 81, sent $200, didn't even receive his fucking $2 sheet of buttfucks. You get UnCutButtFucked for free!

Let's hear it for UNCutOHIO

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

When is your ambition bigger than your arse?

SARASOTA: Vern Buchanan up shite's creek?

A former business partner has accused U.S. Rep. Vern Buchanan in new court documents of ordering a plan to violate federal election laws and threatening “consequences” if the scheme became public.

In the documents, filed Monday in U.S. District Court in Jacksonville, Buchanan’s former business partner Sam Kazran stated for the first time that he has evidence — voicemails, emails, canceled bank checks and a list of witnesses — to support his claims that Buchanan masterminded a plan to funnel money from his workers into his campaign, with his dealership reimbursing them.


Monday, July 4, 2011

Scott and Koch with your Poverty?

In Seminole County, near Orlando, Fla., so many kids have lost their homes that school busses now stop at dozens of cheap motels where families crowd into rooms, living week to week.

American families have been falling out of the middle class in record numbers. The combination of lost jobs and millions of foreclosures means a lot of folks are homeless and hungry for the first time in their lives. more

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Florida, Land of Slavery

Listen to this interview with a guy who bothered to look at why Florida tomatoes are like tasteless rocks, and under those rocks found slaves.

Naples! Listen up - this is your land - the land of Rick Scott - living off slaves.

Where on those god-fearing Teapippies on this? Fleeing to hell ahead of their DOOM?

Have a great Conquistador Celebration, Mr. and Ms. Asshat Penilstaters!

More here.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Teaglodytes find someone even dumber than Trump

It ain't easy, but when it comes to finding the bigger asshat,
US folk are better than anyone in the world at one-upmanship.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

A Rally

It was a Tax Day Rally in Florida, held by teapartymanatee.org

So I attended, with a couple of friends, a tea party meeting in Bradenton. Here's a report on it from the press, followed by a few observations of yrs truly:


It was like an old church revival meeting, combined with a neighborhood fundraiser, combined with a small business card exchange, combined with a political campaign rally, combined with an ancestral worship service.

The dominant interwoven image used by nearly every speaker: fire.

None of which quite captures the odd "spirit" of the small crowd (I estimated about 150, dwindling to 80 after a couple of hours) that seemed both bored, easily aroused to vitriol, and capable of vigorously believing anything the numerous people taking turns at the podium had to say.

In some particular:

1. The MC for this circus was a guy who's an AM talk show host who calls himself "Captain America:"

The Captain

2. Evangelical fervor:

One guy, a Vice Pres. of Tea Party Manatee named Steve Vernon, got the crowd going simply by telling them to shout out their immediate feelings about a series of names:

Obama - Pelosi - Harry Reid - all brought boos, excoriations, execrations. Then, a few TP faves brought raves and cheers, culminating in RICK SCOTT - who is clearly the idol of this party.

Another guy, Eddie Adams Jr., was the sole black - not just sole black speaker, but sole black - at the gathering. He's a conservative AM radio talk show host, and his topic was jobs and the economy. His analysis went basically:

"This is a godly country" (crowd happy)

"A godly country!" (crowd happier - but, because there are no blacks, there is a fatal shortage of "yeah"s "say it"s "praise the Lord!"s and foot stomps.)

"This is the only country on earth that figured out that if you help others it allow us to win!"

"We have a great governor" (YEAHHHHHH!)

"The government doesn't make jobs - people make jobs" (YEAH!)
"The Pet Rock!" (YEAH!)
"That's called Capitalism!" (huzzahs)

3. Dignitaries

A svelte blonde is called out from the podium, identified as an aide to Vern Buchanan, Republican Rep. from Sarasota -- Ford Dealer, All-Around Rich Fellow. She's sitting with a guy who looks like a somewhat less crinkled version of Neil Young if Neil Young were a Tea Party eminence grise and a pundit.

Robin Steublen is called forth and identified as a founder. One who was there at the beginning, way back in 2009. I happen to have known Steublen when he was a verbally outspoken lawn maintenance guy in Punta Gorda trying to run for County Commission back in, like, 1996.

His big thing this evening was "E-verify" - a means of making sure illegal aliens are detected and evicted.

Steublen also advanced the idea that the Tea Party don't need no stinckin' Republicans:
"The RNC thinks we are irrelevant!"

4. Don Baldouf, candidate for something or other:

"States can nullify anything"

A fine point of Constitutional law:

"Feb. 3, 1913 was a turning point in Amurikan History - do you know why? Congress passed the Income Tax - the 16th amendment - It's unconstitutional."

States' Rights is big with the Tea party:

- just create a board of Governors, nullify the 16th Amendment, and say to Iowa, "Florida won't pay for your corn crop storm damage!" etc.

5. Crissie, a founder of 13 Patriots, a Sarasota organization, says fiscal matters matter most, but social things aren't unimportant. We have voters who are ignorant and immoral - they know nothing about Capitalism! They're Athiests!

Crissie invited us to a film called "Agenda: Grinding America Down"
Trailer starts with Reagan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SH8LkIqu1c8

6. A Young Republican ("I'm Young!") named Bryan Tupper ("a rising star" according to Capt. America) said we need to stop "the Obama Machine." He tweets here.

"I was actually in favor of the government shutting down."

Rising Star

  • Administrative assistant, Marketing · Feb 2011 to present ·Bradenton, Florida
    Basically, I help out around the office and help with the marketing of the business.

7. Paul Galvano, former State Rep., revealed that our tax dollars are being taken by the government.

"We're tired of it" he said, in his best Network imitation. The crowd, having heard this so much it is numb, valiantly tried to rouse itself to care.

"I served on Gov. Scott's transition team"

his closer:

"Frankly, I choose freedom."

8. Robin DiSabatino, Manatee County Commissioner,dist. 4:

"We have to light a fire" (another school board member was introduced as "a little firebrand.")

Small businesses got named in great numbers.

"We've got a railroad!"

9. Dr. Julio Gonzalez MD
Obamacare - sucks.

10. Florida Chief Financial Officer Jeff Atwater

The Big Gun.

There's a yellow flag over there with a snake on it - you see it? That's a rattlesnake - it has keen eyes - and in 1776 etc. 13 rattles "Don't tread on me"

Ben Franklin, Geo. Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Samuel Adams - yep, all Tea Partiers.

Good storyteller - wonderful, absolutely apocryphal story of small biz guy teaching him the truths of Tea.

Debt exceeds 90% of GDP - "Fall of moral strength"

Start brushfires - we're starting 'em

The only book on display:


By Michael Prell

“Michael Prell skillfully exposes how our misplaced emphasis to cheer on the underdogs, especially in the international community, will erode America’s status not only as a superpower, but also as the greatest nation in the world. A must read for anyone who believes in maintaining America’s presence as a global leader."
- Congresswoman MICHELE BACHMANN, (R, MN-6), leader of the Tea Party Caucus

Underdogma is the Rosetta Stone for our time’s most portentous puzzle: Why do so many in this country — including some in leadership positions — abhor our national greatness and seek to diminish it at every turn? Michael Prell has ‘broken the code,’ and in so doing made an invaluable contribution to preserving and strengthening American exceptionalism.” - FRANK GAFFNEY, Founder and President of the Center for Security Policy, Ronald Reagan’s Assistant Secretary of Defense for International Security Policy

“Clever, accurate, droll and timely: The meek shall inherit contrariness.” - JOHN BATCHELOR, nationally-syndicated radio host


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Florida land of penile uteruses

Florida House Republicans have introduced at least 18 bills aimed at restricting women's control over their own uteruses— more

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Take a Ride with Rick

On the Oxy Express:

A pharmacy manager counts out the correct number of pills to fill a prescription  in Miami.
EnlargeJoe Raedle/Getty Images

A pharmacy manager counts out the correct number of pills to fill a prescription in Miami.

text size A A A
March 2, 2011

Florida is the epicenter of a prescription drug abuse epidemic. Each day in communities from Jacksonville to Fort Lauderdale, thousands of doses of powerful narcotics like oxycodone are dispensed in pain clinics — storefront operations also called "pill mills."

When he started at the Broward County Sheriff's department 30 years ago, Al Lamberti says, the department was raiding crack houses and busting junkies.

"Nowadays, the drug dealers are working out of strip malls," he says.

Lamberti heads the sheriff's office in a county that includes Fort Lauderdale. It's a city that has become a destination, not just for spring breakers, but also for addicts and drug traffickers.

"We have more pain clinics than McDonald's," he says. "They're taking their toll."


Florida does have a prescription drug database. After years of lobbying by law enforcement, the state legislature passed a bill last session to create one. It just didn't provide money to pay for it. A private foundation stepped in and began raising funds for the database.

Florida Gov. Rick Scott says he is opposed to a prescription drug database because it is an invasion of privacy.
EnlargeCliff Owen/AP

Florida Gov. Rick Scott says he is opposed to a prescription drug database because it is an invasion of privacy.

But recently, Gov. Rick Scott has come out foursquare against it. Scott hasn't said much about why he wants to kill it. When pressed at a recent news conference, he said: "I believe it's an invasion of privacy and...it appears that the money's been wasted."

Lamberti recently joined a dozen federal, state and local law enforcement officials at a news conference held to announce a major crackdown on Florida's pill mills. It was a series of busts, from Palm Beach to Miami, that included more than 20 arrests and the seizure of more than $22 million in cash, exotic cars and real estate.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs!

-- love my Serfs - rare, medium, or Wal-Mart well done!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Gov. Scott: Don't Pimp My Ride

TALLAHASSEE — Gov. Rick Scott on Friday authorized the sale of two state airplanes to out-of-state bidders for a total of nearly $3.7 million, fulfilling a campaign promise. StPeteTimes

Dear Governor Scott:

We understand your fatal attraction for billionaire perks, but you must understand: Florida, the Penile State, is not your personal Bunga Bunga room.

You are selling the public's airplanes and plan to ride around in your own, keeping your travel records secret while on state business.

This is like telling Florida: "My mistress doesn't need to drive, I'll send my chauffeur." Or, "Now you little girl just sit and look sweet while Sugar Daddy takes care of all your pretty little needs."

The public sector is not your private harlot, Governor Scott. Do not sell what we own, since after we toss you on your ear in 4 years (or before), we'll elect other folks, hopefully non-billionaires, who might occasionally do state business that could use a state plane.

While we're at it, don't sell our schools, our teachers, our community leaders, or our water, air, or underwater rights.

In fact, don't sell us, period. If we wanted to pimp our planes, we wouldn't need your teaparty illogic to do it.